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Just in case you were wondering....

Preparing houses for sale stinks. In profound ways. And can I just say: the people who last worked on this house should have their contractor licenses taken away (assuming they have them).

I'm wishing I had pictures of the house right now. To show some of the heinous things we've discovered. The sad and frightening and WHAT WERE THEY THINKING things that we've had to fix/remove/disguise in hopes of getting some poor schlub to take this thing off our hands at an oh-so-reasonable price of 1 zillion dollars, please, thankyouverymuch. But alas, no pictures. Not yet, anyway. Maybe that's what I'll do tonight.....

Anyway, we've decided entirely on our own, certainly not because the realtor told us to... oh, no, never would we have considered avoiding this chore, to paint the cabinets in the kitchen. But if I'm going to paint the kitchen, I'm going to do it MY WAY. And I don't do beige. Be afraid. Be very afraid. So last night, in a fit of HOLY COW WE ONLY HAVE 6 WEEKS TO DO ALL THIS, I insisted on getting Schondy to remove all the cabinet doors in the kitchen. And the last 2 doors on the pantry. So now, the cats are all confused, and the house looks funny, and it's a big mess, and I don't like big messes for very long. So this weekend, if you're bored and have nothing better to do, you can come help me sand and paint 18 cabinet doors and 6 drawer fronts. I might even be convinced to provide drinks......

On that same note, if anyone has a hankering to replace a door frame, I have just the project to make you happy. Oh, yes, we were planning to save this job for a professional, but we could probably be convinced to employ... you know... ANYONE. :-)

And the pantry. Did I mention the pantry? I love my pantry. Or at least I used to. Until we discovered the hinge that wasn't anchored to the wall (yes, really). The center post that wasn't anchored.... much. The GINORMOUS globs of paint keeping the doors from closing. Because OB-viously, why on earth would you REMOVE a hinge before painting the door? That just slows you down, right? And surely no one will notice that the doors don't actually close anymore. Details!

And then there's the windows in the kitchen. We have a great vaulted ceiling in our kitchen. I've always liked that. And there's windows up really high that bring in the sunlight, so the kitchen is lovely and bright and I've always liked that. BUT last night, I decided to get all industrious and pull down the screens from those windows to see if maybe some of the 3 inches of grime could be cleaned off, at which point I discovered that only 1/2. That's right. Half! Of the window frame was painted up there. The other half, they... I don't know... forgot? to paint? Along with the entire window sill. Seriously. Who wants to paint a window sill that's 10 feet in the air? Because no one will ever see it, right? Of course!

We're pretty sure we're going to have to completely dismantle the hall cabinets for a full hardware-ectomy (again with the painting hinges - I mean, seriously, people!), but I'll worry about that after I get my kitchen cabinet doors back. Deliah thinks we opened them all up just for her and I'm not much enjoying the thought of itty-bitty-kitty-paws all over my pots and pans.

Thankfully, most of the carnage is limited to the kitchen/dining room/entry area. Not to say that everything is just fabulous everywhere else. When our realtor saw the random diagonal wall in our master bathroom (~85 degrees), she literally was speechless. And I get the impression that this is not a normal state for her. Not that this is a problem. Because it means she's able to get a word in edgewise with me. Which is (I'm told) not always easy.

Anyway, I'll be glad when this is over. It makes me so tired to think about it. I'm ready to just go. Let the (aforementioned) poor schlub deal with the globby paint and nasty window screens and new door frame, oh my! I prefer my homes to be somewhat devoid of things that make you go "hmmm." I'm hoping for more of an "oooooh" or an "aaaaaah".

So this weekend, I will be sanding and painting and lighting and migrating live rock and.... possibly hunting for the parts for a new door frame. <sigh> Come join me and we'll make a party of it.

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